Of all the scandalous sexual taboos, I have to say that sexual acts in (discreet but) public places has to be one of my favorites. No, I’m not saying I run around gettin’ down and dirty wherever I go, I just mean that, in theory (okay, and occasionally in practice), it’s one of my favorite sexy things to do. If you’ve never indulged your carnal impulses at an unconventional location, I suggest you get to it. It’s the perfect thing to spice up your sex life, whether you’ve been dating for two weeks or been married for 20 years.
But it is a tricky little devil of a sex-capade to pull off. If you’re going to go for the glory, you need the guts…and these rules for the road (or restaurant):
Don’t: …do it when there’s family nearby.
Yes, I know, it’s easy to get all hot and bothered at a family reunion (shrug) but before you pull your sweetie into the coat closet for a little winkwink, imagine Aunt Myrtle walking in. No, I’m serious, imagine it. Painful, right? This is not worth the risk. Instead, subtly send your lover scandalous text messages from across the room or whisper in his ear in the hall. Your inability to get busy right then and there can be turned into a good thing; by the time you leave, you’ll be even more ready to pounce.
Do: …do it at work
But only when no one is there. Working late can be a drag, obviously, but if you end up having to cancel dinner plans with your favorite person, suggest they grab takeout and bring it over. There’s something about your place of employment being empty that brings out the inner troublemaker in all of us. It’s like breaking into your high school at night or something. A place that usually seems tedious and responsibility-filled is suddenly your own personal playground. Let your man/ladyfriend see the mischief in your eyes when they walk in and they’ll get the idea.
Don’t: …worry about getting caught by strangers
That’s supposed to be part of the fun, right? I’m not suggesting that you even want to get caught (although maybe you do) but without at least the chance of it happening, where’s the thrill? (And no, work is a special exception. I already explained that.) Try your best to be discreet but if someone does walk in on your in-public romp, shake it off. You’ll be laughing about it soon and for years to come.
By Jessi_bee ◊ Jan 14, 2010 ◊ Published in Sex