I can admit it: I don’t know it all. Despite years of diligent, ahem, research in the area, there’s much that still mystifies me about the male body and mind. So, in the spirit of education, here we are at the esteemed University of What the Hell, Guys?, located in central Dudeville, USA. I’m your guide, Madamn Goodinbed.
Time to put our queries to the locals:
Question 1: Why don’t you guys remember things like birthdays and anniversaries?
Manbassador: Matt
Answer: This is a truly heinous mistake. We totally remember those things as often as girls do. I’ve been out with lots of girls who forget stuff like that all the time. I guess the difference is that it doesn’t bother us as much when you guys do it. But when we do it, it’s like this huge deal. People think men are less sentimental and more forgetful because women bitch about it more, not because we forget more.
Question 2: Why don’t you call when you say you will?
Manbassador: Austin
Answer: Sometimes (only sometimes!) we really are playing games and we’re actually into you a lot. We just don’t want to seem too forward or available or whatever. Like we’re “supposed” to do. But I would say 99% of the guys out there know by now that doing that is pretty pointless so, in general, if we don’t call you, it’s because we aren’t into things. Sorry, them’s the brake. There are special situations, like someone dying or something, but usually, yeah, we call if we like you. End of story.
Question 3: Aren’t penises, like, annoying? Just, ya know, hangin’ out down there?
Manbassador: Victor
Answer: Hell no! Are you crazy? It’s like a God-given, built-in Gameboy. But a Gameboy where, if you play really well, you get an orgasm. So yeah. Having a penis is great. Having it just “down there” isn’t really a big deal since you’ve had it there your whole life. You adapt. We could ask you the same thing about boobs. (Editor’s note: you could ask and our answer would be the same as yours!) There are the occasional, drunken, unfortunate zipper situations…I won’t elaborate. That always sucks.
Question 4: Are guys really super marriage-phobic?
Manbassador: Jonathan
Answer: Yes and no. Bear with me, as I’m a cultural psych major, but my thought is that that stereotype is a response to cultural norms in our society. Men are raised thinking marriage is something we “have” to do one day but that it’ll starve all the fun out of life so we should put it off until absolutely necessary. The more forward-minded guys who realize they shouldn’t automatically think like that are more open to being romantically minded…this is a huge population of guys who are as much, if not more, marriage-minded as women are assumed to be. And then you go even further and you have the really mentally liberated guys, who think that marriage is unnecessary for a committed, long-term relationship and thus, reject the institution completely. So then they’re back to being off of marriage. It’s a broad range but it’s unfair to say that men in general are commitment-phobes. On the other hand, the same spectrum on feelings of marriage could be said about women, just with opposite tendencies. (Editor’s note: okay, okay…I asked the intellectual on purpose with this one. What a smartie.)
By Jessi_bee