It’s commonly known (and abhorred by us thinkin’ folks) that when a man is sexually promiscuous, he is…umm, a man. He’s a dude. That’s what they do, right? Spread their seed, brag on their internet dating profile, and all that. However, when a human of the lady variety decides to rub up on a bunch of men (or women) who she finds appealing, she’s a no good, very bad, dirty, dirty slut.
This is quite the predicament for us women. And actually, it is for men, too. I have this wildly (and perhaps dreadfully misplaced) suspicion that males in general are genuinely wising up to this whole gender equality thing.
As the first generation to be raised as a significantly more gender-equal society grows up and starts making out with each other, an increasing number of dudes don’t automatically think of women as sexually restricted…but there’s still this culturally engrained idea of the slut. So modern, aware men have a mental which-way-is-up to deal with, too.
Perhaps being a slut isn’t about sex at all. Maybe it’s about reclamation of power in women. If you tell someone that they can’t have…hmm, what’s really delicious?...cheesecake, over and over, tell them they can’t have cheesecake and then one day, suddenly, it’s okay for them to have cheesecake, what are they going to do? Duh. Every bakery in town’s stock just went way up. That’s what it’s like with women and sex.
It wasn’t so very long ago that women didn’t have much of a say about whom they mated with. Yes, I say “mated” because “sex” sounds too choice-driven and consensual, whereas mating seems more antiquated and utilitarian. And that’s what sex was supposed to be for a woman back then: a means to procreate. It was recreational for a man, but not for us ladies. What a rip off.
So now it’s now. And we can have our cheesecake and eat it too. But what are we supposed to do when the rest of the world looks down on us when we eat what they see as too many pieces? Okay, enough with the cake analogy, it’s making me hungry.
Showing restraint that doesn’t suit your needs doesn’t sound good, or fair. I’m all about sexual discretion, but feeling obligated to hide your bedroom escapades isn’t okay, either. There is enough cheesecake to go around so shouldn’t every woman get to decide when she’s eating more than is healthy for her specifically? (Okay, now I’m done with the cheesecake thing. Promise.)
The word “slut”, like any other word, only has as much strength as you give it, with your feelings, with your actions and with your words. If you actively choose to not give a damn what the masses-at-large think about the number of notches on your bedpost, don’t amend your romantic actions to fit pre-set social constraints, and don’t (for the love of Chanel) actually call someone a slut, then suddenly the word means nothing. And if we’re really diligent, maybe soon after that, the idea itself won’t exist either. Go after as many pieces as you want ladies; and no, I’m not talking about cheesecake.