I can’t wait to watch the Colts and the Saints lay it all on the line in the 44th Super Bowl this weekend! There's something very sexy about watching muscular men grunting and groaning and patting each other on the ass.
Those of you who don’t know much about our American game of football, just know that it is only played professionally by men; driven by testosterone and a competitive need to win while throwing, running with, kicking or carrying an elliptically shaped ball. The game is fantastic, and there is an incredible amount of foreplay before a (hopefully!) climatic end!
These are my 12 lessons of how football and sex indeed go together:
1. Males never give up, even if they are losing. All men are pretty much players. They always keep trying to score. Remember to go deep though guys! It feels so good when a man goes deep—many times.
2. Even if you've had experience scoring before, don’t be cocky. Take time to know who you are going to share your balls with because every lay can bring a different outcome.
3. Male testosterone is indeed a wonderful thing. Seeing each other face-to- face in a few back-to-back sacs will take you to oh, that special place.
4. Timing is everything. Protect your ass! Don’t go in where you shouldn’t. But if you see room to roam, be curiously cautious while you thrust and ram on inside. You’ll know soon enough if it was a good move.
5. Turnovers make the game more fun as new surprises can come from a different position. Let someone else be the dominatrix. Share your space!
6. While chasing after each other can drag out the foreplay, the climax had better be worth it. Make sure the last few minutes are the best everyone has ever had. Someone could even be videotaping or recording your actions, so make it special.
7. Know the lay of the land with your playmates. If a player acts prematurely, he can be ejected with a penalty, preventing him from ever scoring again.
8. Is having 13 men at the same time too many? While 13 is unlucky for one it might actually be highly do-able, appreciative and downright opportunistic for the other. Red flags stop bodies from moving. The flow gets stunted. But finding something and someone to blame is normal. Whining and crying about what happened doesn’t change anything.
9. Even when a man aims, he can miss—the first time. He'd have to be pretty lucky to get a second chance.
10. Pumped up, exhausted, high on adrenaline and sweating heavily, he finally scores when there is no more time left. He then looks at this lay as the best one he’s ever had—until next time.
11. Oh, at the very end, a player’s ass gets spanked. But why does he get new jewelry (a ring) for his finger? I can’t figure that part out. Sometimes sex is just not fair.
By Paige_Me