Head Case: How to Be a Fellatio Femme Fatale

Every woman worth her salt in the sack likes to think she has dynamite oral skills. The sad truth is that far too many women are the “up, down, up, down, done” type who think that the very fact that they’re giving men something that they so covet means they’re doing well.

I say “sad” because this kind of attitude suggests to me that a lot of you ladies out there are missing out on what could and should be a fun, exciting part of sex. If you apply the same attention to detail and emphasis on tailored variety and secret weapons to going downtown as you do to the rest of sex, everyone wins.

So what comprises the world’s greatest blowjob? Well, that depends on the guy, and on you. There are, however, certain consistent dos and don’ts that men seem to agree on across the board. Lucky for you, I’ve done the legwork. Pulling from personal experience and the views of several very opinionated men, here are some tips to make sure your next trip downtown is the best little getaway either of you have ever had.

Don’t do it if you don’t like it

Some of you read that and said, “duh.” Some of you read that and a lightbulb came on, didn’t it? Really, I’m always surprised by the number of women to whom it never seemed like an option to just not go down on a guy. They don’t enjoy it but always assumed it was just part of the deal. Men expect it, they supposedly live for it, so we have to do it, right? Absolutely not.

This rule holds true for any sex-tivity. Sex is about willful choice and having fun; you should never do anything that doesn’t do something for you. Not to mention, one of the number one things men have told me in regards to what makes a mind-blowing (pun intended! Pow!) blowjob is knowing their down-south gal is enjoying herself. If they don’t think you’re enjoying yourself, chances are they aren’t either.

Work with everything you’ve got

Successful fellatio is about more than your mouth. Having skillful lips and tongue definitely helps the situation, but remember you have more tools at your disposal. Your hands are of immeasurable importance. True, this is a mostly oral-centric act but little surprises with your hands are the icing on an already delicious cake. Run your fingers along his thighs,

Play ball

Don’t forget the balls. I have to say this. Every man I interviewed made an adamant point on this matter and from experience, I can say that a little south of the shaft attention goes a long way. But tread lightly; this is a sensitive area where tugging and tickling can go from pleasure to pain pretty easily.

Look up

This seems like a small detail but when you’re taking a quick break for a periodic breath of air, look up and flash a devious smile that says you know what you’re doing and you love it. This can really make a world of difference for both of you. You get to sneak a peak of his rapt face and he gets a reminder that not only does what you’re doing feel good, but there’s still a sexy, playful woman attached to that feeling. Plus, it’s a sultry way to keep connected to your partner during what can sometimes turn into an impersonal activity.

Talk with your mouth full

Forget everything your mom taught you (okay, I’m sorry, I won’t bring anyone’s mother into a conversation about oral sex again. Promise). Sometimes it is perfectly acceptable to talk with your mouth full. Sexy times would be some of those times. I’m not saying to carry on a conversation about the atrocities of the world while you’re blowing your boyfriend but a healthy smattering of moaning is a much-appreciated addition to the experience. Not only do men always love it when sexy things come out of your mouth (or in your mouth…sorry, that was necessary), but the sounds you make mid-fellate will cause some super stimulating vibrations.